Something Vague

I'm living on my own now, in an apartment in the city.

I'm better, finally. I've spent the last week or so in a feverish nightmare, burning inside from what happened with Arienette. Every day, I spent it either in the bed, under the covers, trying to run away from the darkness, or with Haligh. When I was with Haligh, I felt better, but I still felt extremely empty....

Haligh took me away from one of the Monsters, who according to her, was trying to "merge" with my Key. Haligh doesn't know why she was trying to do that; probably for a power boost. If the Monster had succeeded in gaining the Key, it would have broken the Scales.

It was stupid of her to save me, really. Haligh has a "Key" inside of her too. She could have been assaulted by the Monster too. But she wasn't thinking ahead, just like how I never think ahead...

Haligh told me that she's been looking for me, just like how I have been looking for Arienette. She's been using the Key to look for me for almost up to 2 months...

She tells me there are 2 reasons why she's been looking for me.
1; she wants me to join this group that fights against The Fears.
2; she wants me.

She's apparently in love with me, and has been for a while.
This surprises me a bit; I don't know what to think, honestly.
Arienette's my one and only, but...I do feel some desire to be with Haligh.

Christ, it's so cold in this apartment.
Winter's back, and it's been snowing alot in this city.
I've been drinking alot again too.

I don't know what to do about Haligh. Furthermore, how do I save Arienette?

Haligh, with her tangled brown hair, her hazel eyes, her warm personality...

I'm so sick of writing in this journal.
Fevers, mirrors, scales; when I look into myself, I see these things.

I've been having this weird dream every night for the past few days.

It's more like a memory masquerading as a dream, though.

I'm on a bridge with my family, I'm standing on it, I'm looking down, I see a body in the water, I see my reflection, I see Padriac, I see a boy in a sailor suit, the bridge disappears, I'm falling and no one's there to catch me, I'm in the air like a fucking star, glowing in the dark, falling.

I see myself falling into Death's arms, and I find that it's Padriac, all grown up.
I say,

But now I'm confused. Is this death really you?
And do these dreams have any meaning?

He looks at me
and says,

No. 
No, I think it's more like a ghost, that's been following us both.
Something vague that we're not seeing; something more like a feeling.

 The dream ends there, but as it fades away, I always find his image in my mind.

Haligh told me she thinks there's something inside of us both, other than the Keys.

I got to go. She wants to meet up again.