A Song to Pass the Time

I'm living out in the West, down in California. I live in the Suburbs...never thought I'd settle down in this type of landscape, to be honest. I'm apart of The Organization now, or at least I will be; I'm currently trying to fix myself mentally before I fight alongside them. 


I've gotten back in contact with Jetsabel. She's telling me all sorts of things that the company does; little did I know, but she was actually apart of the Organization all along. She was promoted recently, actually.


There's this special agent from them that's been helping me. She's really nice, and patient, and just a cool person. I think if the people from this agency are like her, I definitely would like to join.


I won't be fixating on her, though, so don't worry. I'm never fixating on a girl again, like I did on Arienette. No one's going to save me from the Darkness, especially no girl I think I'm in love with.


Only I can fix this. Only I can set myself free.


The Fevers stopped, and I'm clean again.






There is a middle-aged woman she's dragging her feet.
She carries baskets of clothes to a laundromat.
While the Mexican children kick rocks into the street
And they laugh in a language I don't understand.
But I love them.
Why do I love them?
So the neighborhood is dimming as I smoke on the porch
And watch the people as they pass enclosed inside their cars.
On their faces just anger or disappointment.
I start wishing there was something I could offer them.
A consolation, what could I offer them?
And they are sad in their suburbs robots water the lawn
And everything they touch gets dusted spotless.
And so they start to believe they've not touched anything at all.
And the cars in the driveway only multiply.
They are lost in their houses.
I have heard them sing in the shower
Making speeches to their sister on the telephone.
Saying, you come home.
Woman, you come here.
Don't stay so far away from me.
This weather has me wanting love more tangible.
Something I can hold cause it's getting cold.
I say hold up our fists to the flame in the sky
To block out the light that's reaching for our eyes
Cause it... cause it would blind us. Yeah it will blind us.
Well, I've locked my actions in the grooves of routine.
So I may never be free of this apathy.
But I wait for a letter that is coming to me.
She sends me pictures of the ocean in an envelope.
So there still is hope.
Yes, I can be healed.
There is someone looking for what I've concealed
In my secret drawer, in my pockets deep,
You will find the reasons that I can't sleep and you will still want me.
But will you still want me? Will you still want?...
Well, I say come for the week.
You can sleep in my bed.
And pass through my life like a dream through my head.
It will... it will be easy. I'll make it easy.
But all I have for the moment is a song to pass the time.
A melody to keep me from worrying.
Oh, some simple progression to keep my fingers busy.
And words that are sure to come back to me
And they'll be laughing, and they'll be laughing.
My mediocrity.
My mediocrity.

An Attempt to Tip the Scales

I'm almost there, I'm almost back on the West Coast; when I get there, I can finally join the group. I can finally see my brother again. I can finally appreciate my freedom.

But I need to deal with my inner demons before I'm done with the past. I have to rid myself of all this crazy shit destroying me from the inside. No more fumbling around with The Key also, because we saw what happened when I did that; Haligh.

So I've discovered a way to numb myself of all my turmoil...I've found something that will help close myself off from the Key's influence.

It came to me in a dream, like everything does. In it, I was in some cave. On it, there was some drawing. I don't remember what it exactly showed, but I do remember it resembled those old caveman drawings that show up all the time on cave walls.

From that, I discovered something. Something vague.

I'm going to call it "Sowing Season".

It's a ritual. I used the Key's power to perform it.

One second, I was in a hotel room, reciting a poem by Kipling, the next second, I was in a recording studio. Across from me, I saw some guy. I don't know how to describe him, because he looked like everyone I've met in my entire life.

He picks up a sheet of paper from the table next to him, and begins to read off of it. As he reads, I sing.

Did you expect it all to stop at the wave of your hand?
Like the sun is just going to drop if it's night you demand...

Well, in the dark, we are just air, so the house might dissolve.

But once we are gone, who is gonna care if we were ever here at all?

Well, summer is going to come and it's gonna cloud our eyes again
There is not need to focus when there is nothing that it worth seeing

So we trade liquor for blood in an attempt to tip the scales
I think you lost what you loved in that mess of details
They seemed so important at the time but now you can't even recall
Any of the names, faces, or lines, it is more the feeling of it all 

Well, winter is going to end and I'm going to clean these veins again
So close to dying that I finally can start living.

--------------------

He stops singing, and a persistent ringing in the background begins.

Something Vague: "Hi, we're back, this is Radio ____! 

We have a special guest today; why don't you say hi, Tyler?"

 Me/Tyler:"Hey! Thanks for having me here tonight."

V: "No problem, our pleasure! So why don't you tell the Audience why you're exactly in this mess in the first place? Don't be shy now!"

T: "Well, I don't exactly know myself, actually. Do you know?"

V: "Nahhh, man. I don't even know why I'm here, really...I mean, who the fuck are you anyways?"

T: "I'm...I don't...I don't know anymore, honestly. I don't know where I'm going, and I don't really know where I've been. I'm a lost bird, looking for a ne-"

-something beeps in the background-

V: "Oh, Tyler, we've got a caller! Pick up the phone, hurry!"

T: "Hello? Who's there?"

Caller 1: "Tyler, why'd you let Mommy drown me? Why'd you let her do that? Why why why? I'm so cold now, Tyler. Why don't you visit me anymore? Why don't you let it snow?

T: "I...Padriac? Put down the phone, you know mother doesn't like you-"

-connection is cut-

T: "Padriac?"

V: "Oops, looks like we lost that caller. Tyler, you okay? You seem a bit pale."

T: "I'm fine...let's keep the interview going."

V: "Alright,...well, what exactly inspires you to keep going, man?"

T: "I don't really know anymore...what exactly is there out there for me to actually want to strive for?"

V: "What about your family?"

T: "Them? Oh, I forget about them sometimes...well, I guess."

V: "You forgot? Isn't that a bit too self centered?"

T: "I guess...."

V: "It is selfish. Selfish as fuck."

T: "You're right..."

V:  "Damn right I am; Tyler, why didn't you just ask for help from them, or from your brother, throughout the years?"

T: "I thought they wouldn't be able to do anything to stop The Lonely Hearts."

V: "Really? The Organization so lousy that it hasn't been able to locate you for almost two years now?"

T: "Well, I-"

-another call beeps in-

V: "Pick it up, Tyler."

T: "Fine, fine- hello?"

Caller 2: "Tyler, Tyler? You there?"

T: "Huh!? What are you doing calling here?"

Caller 2: "Just checking up on you, little bro. How are you? When are you getting here?"

T: "I'm almost there, bro. Don't worry about me..."

Caller 2: "Have you given up on Arienette yet?"

-connection is cut-

V: "Interesting...you just cut the connection away from your brother...what gives?"

T: "Fuck off, don't worry about it...how long have you worked at this station anyways?"

V: "Oh, just a few minutes...now, how was your childhood?"

T: "I had an alright one, I guess. My family was well off, we were never without money. I had anything I ever wanted, I guess."

V: "What about your brothers who were drowned in the bathtub by your mother?"

T: "...what?"

V: "They were born defective, remember? They were born wrong. The Keys inside of them were-"

T: "Shut it....can you stop that persistent ringing in the background?"

V: "Sure. Anyways, we're not getting anywhere, are we? Do you even want to get better?"

T: "...I do. I really want to, anyways. What can I do?"

V: "We're inside of you, Tyler. Only you can think up something that will soothe the Fevers burning inside of you. I'm only here to tip the scales."

 ---------------

I'm laying on the hotel bed. There are no fireworks, no hallucinations.

Just me and a guitar. 

I'm going to write a song to pass the time.

In a few days, I will be with others like me. Finally.

I can put Arienette to rest too. I will never ask where she is from now on.

Mirrors and Fevers

I'm in between everything, back to that Darkness that I despise so much. I'm all alone, truly. No one is coming for me. No Haligh, no Arienette, no one.

I can see into the past; I see Arienette letting the strings find and swallow her on that fateful June day, right before I get off the truck and meet her for the first time.

I can see into the future, and I can see myself playing on some guitar, by myself. I never thought I'd play the guitar again.

I realize the last time that I was here, that I saw the mirror, I had seen myself.

Could I find it this time?

I swim throughout the darkness, looking for any clue to the mirror's whereabouts.

People are singing around me, from all around me.
They want me to find myself again, so I can see them all again.
Can I fix the puzzle that is my head now?

Can I put the Mirror back together?

I was cold, in a dream
Somewhere close to the surface
Between the ice and the stream

There is three inches of air
So I swam towards the light
I let my breath get there first
When I opened my eyes
I saw myself in the mirror
And I knew I would do like my father has done
Yes, we will never break from these chains
Your life is going to course like a history book
Don't be frightened of turning the page
Because it is all the same
It will always be the same

Sunrise, Sunset

Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset, swiftly go the days

The days are bleeding into each other. I don't know what's real anymore, whatsoever. The mirror is broken, so I can't see if I'm myself anymore. I'm trapped in this place, I'm trapped again. I'm entangled in strings again.

Sunrise, sunset, you wake up then you undress, it always is the same

The days are so quick too. I'm trying to make do with what I can in this City. I can't ever seem to recall what I actually spend my day doing anyways. I do know that I wake up and go to bed bleeding. my clothes are ripped sometimes too. 

The sunrise and the sunsets, you're lying while you confess, keep trying to explain

I have to see her everyday. She always accuses me of wanting to leave this place, and I always lie and say that I don't want to leave, that I love it here, and I try telling her why I don't want to leave.

The sunrise and the sunsets, you realize then you forget what you've been trying to retain

 I always, for a second, remember exactly what I had been trying to accomplish by finding Arienette, but then I always forget, without fail. My memories are so faint, and I'm stuck in this place. Why are we here? Why can't I leave, Arienette?

But everybody knows it's all about the things that get stuck inside of your head

I want to get out of this place, I want to get away from this place, please let me leave, the darkness is enshrouding me, and only things that's left to light up my surroundings is this stupid mechanism hidden inside of me. Something vague I don't even want. If I could, I'd rip it out myself, goddammit.

Like the songs your roommate sings, a vision of her body as she stretches out on your bed

I don't think of Arienette as my one true love like I did when I found myself in this city. She just doesn't act like the person I fell in love with, honestly. She acts so indifferent, as if she doesn't even have a personality anymore. 

And she raised her hands in the air,

asked you when was the last time you looked in the mirror

I feel as if the scales are permanently tipped now. The Fevers are swelling to an uneven proportion. The Mirrors are surrounding me again, and The Deathwatches are ticking.

Because you've changed
Yeah, you've changed

She tells me that I've changed all the time, as if I'm the one making these decisions. As if I'm letting myself fall into this square hole, into the darkness. She laughs at me when I tell her that she's changing, and says that she's never changed, that I just never looked close enough at her.

The sunrise, the sunsets, you're hopeful and then you regret, the circle never breaks

On the final day of me being there, I decided that I needed to finally do something about my situation. So instead of just following Arienette back into the city after waking up, I took a dark path out on a trail back in Nebraska, the state I was born in. The sun shines as Spring finds itself back into existence, giving life to the plants and animals downstream. I felt more optimistic at one point on the trail, but then I felt the regret of defying and leaving Arienette yet again.

With a sunrise and a sunset,

there's a change of heart or address, 

is there nothing that remains?

 I kept wondering if there was anything inside of me that hadn't been tampered with, anything that Arienette couldn't seduce. I didn't realize it then, but the Key still laid inside of me/

For a sunrise or a sunset, you're manic or you're depressed, will you ever feel okay?

I hear someone whispering, someone talking to me, someone mentioning the sunrise and sunsets. The voice, at first, wasn't any louder than the Deathwatches, but the farther down the path I got, the louder the voice became....the voice was mocking my inability to ever be completely happy with my surroundings...

And then the path ended, and I was back in the ballroom from so long ago,  and yet at the same time, I was in that red field. There, dancing along on a string, was Arienette. I saw the string lead to the Monster, the bitch, the one behind all my suffering recently; The Wooden Girl. The one who had, long ago, let Arienette and I run, but now...

Arienette turns around, and the strings in her cheeks forces her to smile.

"Arienette left you a long time ago," the body says. "You're all alone now." 

She never loved me.

For a sunrise or a sunset, your lover is an actress, did you really think she'd stay?

  I collapsed to the floor. What would I do now? Arienette was gone, Haligh never existed, The Monsters were stronger than ever...what would...

 For a sunrise or a sunset, 

you're either coming or you just left, 

but you're always on the way

 The strings started to slide along the ground like snakes toward me. She was done playing games, this time she was taking my Key, all of it, and Haligh wouldn't be able to stop her.

 Towards a sunrise or a sunset, 

a scribble or a sonnet, 

they are really just the same

Arienette's corpse, or copy, or whatever that thing was, dances around with the strings, and walks over to the side of the Wooden Girl.  

To the sunrise or a sunset, 

the master and his servant have exactly the same fate

The strings wrap around me, and pull me towards my impending Death. Padriac screams inside of me, and The Key starts glowing, active with the thought that it would cease to exist in mere seconds. 

 It's a sunrise and a sunset, 

from a cradle to a casket,

there is no way to escape!!

The Wooden Girl continues to scream with glee until we both notice a shadow fall over me, and for a second, I think that it's just my Darkness taking shape, but it grows taller, until I see a familiar face, or a familiar...lack of one.

Inside of its paleness, I see a Calendar hanging Itself; Time stops.

The Slender man was here. 

"The sunrise and a sunset, hold your sadness like a puppet, keep putting on the play", 

The Wooden Girl says as she launches her strings at the Tall Man.

The Slender Man deflects them with his tentacles. He then slashes away at the strings holding me. He grabs onto my arm and throws me almost twenty feet away from the battle scene. I hit the ballroom's wall, and I fall to the ground in dizzying pain. 

The two Monsters proceed to stare at each other for the longest time. 

Finally, at one point, Arienette starts to sing something.

But everything you do is leading to the point where you just won't know what to do
At that moment you may laugh but there is someone there who will be laughing louder than you
So it's true, the trick is complete, you become everything you said you never would be
You're a fool; you're a fool!

I realize that she is saying this to me also, not just Slender Man.

Arienette runs at Slender, and Slender hugs her. They erupt into a pillar of darkness.

It appeared, for a second, that Slender Man had left me alone with The Wooden Girl. He hadn't. The Wooden Girl starts to chuckle, and she said that my "guardian angel" had forgotten about me, but at that moment Slender appeared behind me, and pulled me back into the darkness I had experienced back in November. 

Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset, sunrise and the sunsets
Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, the sunsets, the sunrise, the sunsets
Sunrise, sunset, go home to your apartment, put the cassette in the tape deck

and let that fever play

Sunrise, sunset, where are you Arienette?

The Center of the World

I'm back on the beach with Arienette. Behind us, a city towers beyond the clouds, watching us. The City is completely empty, and it is the Center of the World.

She's trying to get me to follow her into the City. She's telling me that she loves me, and if I love her too, that I would follow her. The sun rises, the sun sets, and she's still pleading for me to go.

But we're both far less than we knew back than. I have a duty, don't I? I can't afford to die yet. I can't afford to settle down yet, either. I need to help fight for our freedom, then maybe one day, I can finally live with her.

I can hear an alarm clock in the background. The familiar sounds of my old bedroom play out all around me. The Deathwatches tick faster. I am glad that I'm falling back into reality...because being at the Center of the World was a dream, right? The pills on the shelf next to me are surely reality.

No. No it wasn't. The alarm clock going off is the dream. The mirror's pieces glisten with blood as I step on the glass shards, crawling into the wooden frame because a hole has appeared in that strange square place.

Arienette is there, and I choose her, unaware of the strings pulling me along.

She tells me that all I have to do is follow her into the City, and then we can be together forever.

The Fevers start again, my mind becomes too clouded to make a proper decision, and I begin to follow her.

When you drive home to your place
From that job that makes you sleep
Back to the thoughts that keep you awake
Long after night has come to claim
Any light that still remains in the corner of the frame
That you put around her face
Two pills just weren't enough
The alarm clock is going off but you are not waking up
This isn't happening
It is

Jetsabel Removes the Undesirables

Reality is still mixing in with my dream land. Every women I meet turns into either Haligh or Arienette in appearance when I look at them. I'm almost there, to the group fighting against The Monsters.

How do I know this group still exists? Why should I trust something that Haligh had originally told me?

Well, I've figured out that technically, Haligh was also the Key working through me. This morning, I was looking past myself for once, into the Key, and I tried "talking" to it. I tried connecting with the mechanism The Lonely Hearts merged me with so long ago.

I saw Haligh inside of it; just a tiny glimpse was all it would let me have, unfortunately. This means that Haligh, on some level, did exist. The Key worked through her...so why did it want Arienette out of the way?

Why did it push us apart?

I also got a letter from my brother today, about how he joined a group out West, to fight for my freedom. So this is basically confirmed...

This nice girl named Jetsabel is putting my clothes into the drawer for me...I hurt my leg on the way here, to this hotel for Runners that I found through the Key, so I can't get up off of this bed.

She's talking to me about the group in the West...there is indeed a group out there, and I am on the right track. In fact, she said that she would take me there!

Her face looks like Arienette, but I know she isn't, right? She can't be her, everyone looks like her now...

Maybe I should turn back and go get Arienette,...why did I ever leave her anyways?

I love her, don't I?

I should sleep. I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow.

I can either turn back and get Arienette, or I can move forward with Jetsabel.

Haligh, Haligh, a Lie, Haligh

The phone rings, and I end up receiving news from my very self.

Haligh's dead, in more ways than one.

This morning, she was attacked by some other woman in an alleyway. No one told me this, I just know. She was stabbed, and then someone pushed their hands into her chest...and took out her Key.

She was destroyed instantly from the separation. Her existence failed.

I found myself at a funeral later. I had a black ribbon on my arm and everything. There were other people at the funeral, and they kept giving me weird looks. What was wrong with me? Why were they looking at me like this?

Why wasn't I crying?

But I think I understood, deep down. I had known the answer all along, after seeing her in the mirror instead of me.

Haligh,
Haligh,
a lie.
Haligh.

She had never existed. I had wished she existed. She was never there. And I was never fully here either.

It was my Key granting that wish, that wish to keep the Darkness out, to keep the Monsters away.

But they couldn't have me escaping. No, of course not. So they smashed the Mirror representing Haligh.

Haligh was behind Arienette having a new life...Haligh had seen Arienette as a threat, and needed her out of the way, so she sent her out of my life, with some guy.
I had sent Arienette away accidentally by creating this Mirror.

Reality bends to make room for The Key every day.

The funeral is some stranger's. I leave silently, but inside, I'm screaming out in torment.
"Our love would never die...."
Well, hahaha.

The childhood memories are fake. The morning spent with you, walking down South Street to school alongside you...that never happened. 

You said you hate my suffering
And you understood
And you'd take care of me
You'd always be there
Well where are you now?

Arienette is the Fever, Haligh is the Mirror.

I look into the mirror, and Padriac lurks there. He grins, and says,

Choices were given
Now you must live them
Or just not live; ...but do you want that? 

 Now the Darkness is free to take me...unless I can tip the Scales and realize that I need to fix myself.

But to do that, I need to be able to talk to myself.