An Attempt to Tip the Scales

I'm almost there, I'm almost back on the West Coast; when I get there, I can finally join the group. I can finally see my brother again. I can finally appreciate my freedom.

But I need to deal with my inner demons before I'm done with the past. I have to rid myself of all this crazy shit destroying me from the inside. No more fumbling around with The Key also, because we saw what happened when I did that; Haligh.

So I've discovered a way to numb myself of all my turmoil...I've found something that will help close myself off from the Key's influence.

It came to me in a dream, like everything does. In it, I was in some cave. On it, there was some drawing. I don't remember what it exactly showed, but I do remember it resembled those old caveman drawings that show up all the time on cave walls.

From that, I discovered something. Something vague.

I'm going to call it "Sowing Season".

It's a ritual. I used the Key's power to perform it.

One second, I was in a hotel room, reciting a poem by Kipling, the next second, I was in a recording studio. Across from me, I saw some guy. I don't know how to describe him, because he looked like everyone I've met in my entire life.

He picks up a sheet of paper from the table next to him, and begins to read off of it. As he reads, I sing.

Did you expect it all to stop at the wave of your hand?
Like the sun is just going to drop if it's night you demand...

Well, in the dark, we are just air, so the house might dissolve.

But once we are gone, who is gonna care if we were ever here at all?

Well, summer is going to come and it's gonna cloud our eyes again
There is not need to focus when there is nothing that it worth seeing

So we trade liquor for blood in an attempt to tip the scales
I think you lost what you loved in that mess of details
They seemed so important at the time but now you can't even recall
Any of the names, faces, or lines, it is more the feeling of it all 

Well, winter is going to end and I'm going to clean these veins again
So close to dying that I finally can start living.

--------------------

He stops singing, and a persistent ringing in the background begins.

Something Vague: "Hi, we're back, this is Radio ____! 

We have a special guest today; why don't you say hi, Tyler?"

 Me/Tyler:"Hey! Thanks for having me here tonight."

V: "No problem, our pleasure! So why don't you tell the Audience why you're exactly in this mess in the first place? Don't be shy now!"

T: "Well, I don't exactly know myself, actually. Do you know?"

V: "Nahhh, man. I don't even know why I'm here, really...I mean, who the fuck are you anyways?"

T: "I'm...I don't...I don't know anymore, honestly. I don't know where I'm going, and I don't really know where I've been. I'm a lost bird, looking for a ne-"

-something beeps in the background-

V: "Oh, Tyler, we've got a caller! Pick up the phone, hurry!"

T: "Hello? Who's there?"

Caller 1: "Tyler, why'd you let Mommy drown me? Why'd you let her do that? Why why why? I'm so cold now, Tyler. Why don't you visit me anymore? Why don't you let it snow?

T: "I...Padriac? Put down the phone, you know mother doesn't like you-"

-connection is cut-

T: "Padriac?"

V: "Oops, looks like we lost that caller. Tyler, you okay? You seem a bit pale."

T: "I'm fine...let's keep the interview going."

V: "Alright,...well, what exactly inspires you to keep going, man?"

T: "I don't really know anymore...what exactly is there out there for me to actually want to strive for?"

V: "What about your family?"

T: "Them? Oh, I forget about them sometimes...well, I guess."

V: "You forgot? Isn't that a bit too self centered?"

T: "I guess...."

V: "It is selfish. Selfish as fuck."

T: "You're right..."

V:  "Damn right I am; Tyler, why didn't you just ask for help from them, or from your brother, throughout the years?"

T: "I thought they wouldn't be able to do anything to stop The Lonely Hearts."

V: "Really? The Organization so lousy that it hasn't been able to locate you for almost two years now?"

T: "Well, I-"

-another call beeps in-

V: "Pick it up, Tyler."

T: "Fine, fine- hello?"

Caller 2: "Tyler, Tyler? You there?"

T: "Huh!? What are you doing calling here?"

Caller 2: "Just checking up on you, little bro. How are you? When are you getting here?"

T: "I'm almost there, bro. Don't worry about me..."

Caller 2: "Have you given up on Arienette yet?"

-connection is cut-

V: "Interesting...you just cut the connection away from your brother...what gives?"

T: "Fuck off, don't worry about it...how long have you worked at this station anyways?"

V: "Oh, just a few minutes...now, how was your childhood?"

T: "I had an alright one, I guess. My family was well off, we were never without money. I had anything I ever wanted, I guess."

V: "What about your brothers who were drowned in the bathtub by your mother?"

T: "...what?"

V: "They were born defective, remember? They were born wrong. The Keys inside of them were-"

T: "Shut it....can you stop that persistent ringing in the background?"

V: "Sure. Anyways, we're not getting anywhere, are we? Do you even want to get better?"

T: "...I do. I really want to, anyways. What can I do?"

V: "We're inside of you, Tyler. Only you can think up something that will soothe the Fevers burning inside of you. I'm only here to tip the scales."

 ---------------

I'm laying on the hotel bed. There are no fireworks, no hallucinations.

Just me and a guitar. 

I'm going to write a song to pass the time.

In a few days, I will be with others like me. Finally.

I can put Arienette to rest too. I will never ask where she is from now on.