Monday, January 8, 2001

When the Curious Girl Realizes She Is Under Glass

Reality breaks like a mirror in front of me, and time splits into different directions like cracks in the glass.

I'm a kid again, laying in my small bed. I am looking across the room to my youngest brother, Padriac, and I think to myself about taking him to the lake where we sailed with our father so long ago. Maybe we'll conquer Padriac's Fear of the water this time.

The cracked glass pieces begin to fall out of the wooden frame and fall to the ground.

I can't die yet, I can't give up yet. All these mirrors are trying to show me the true way, the true me. They're trying to tell me that the Darkness is resting inside of me.

The mirror pieces hit against the floor, and scratch against it.
Sounds from the past echo from these tiny collisions.

I'm writing a letter to my old counselor, Ruba, down in Florida; I'm only a teenager this time. My mother wanted me to keep in touch with her through letters for some reason. I remember Ruba telling me to never underestimate the power of a mirror....I don't know why she told me that.

I look into these tiny pieces of glass, and see that Haligh is hiding inside each and every one.
I take the opportunity to examine each piece, and each side of Haligh.
I see that Haligh is more than just connected to me.

I hear someone singing the following lines:

"Time take us forward, relief from this longing
They can land that plane on my heart, I don't care
Just give me November, the warmth of a whisper
In the freezing darkness of my room"
 It's me, wishing for someone to save me from the Darkness.

I made a Wish, I wished upon myself, floating in the dark like a fucking star without anyone to catch me.

I'm popping pills left and right, I'm looking around and seeing lies everywhere.

Haligh realizes that she is under glass.

The Scales are starting to tip.

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